The Index

Click Here
ABSOLUTELY FREE
XXX PICS!

Homepage

The Official Blondes Sex Quiz

One Liners 1

Blonde Comments During sex

One Liners 2

Blonde Seminars

One Liners 3

101 Blonde Jokes

Submitted Jokes

Reasons to be Blonde

 

Contact Us

Want to find more jokes? The best jokes are at yahoo.com

Why Blondes Have a HOT Sex Life: They Use The "Sex Positions Guide" CLICK HERE

Submitted Jokes

Click Here
ABSOLUTELY FREE
XXX PICS!

 

There were three girls a blond, red head, and brunette. They just robbed a bank and are running away from the cops they hide in three potatoe bags. The cop goes and kicks the first bag the red head says meow. The cop goes oh just a cat. Then he goes and kicks the second bag the brunette says bark. The cop goes oh just a dog. He goes to the third bag and kicks it the blonde says POTATOE.

19/12/2002

There was a blonde and a few business men in an elevator. One of the business men spotted some white liquid on the floor."It looks like cum," he said. "Smells like it too," said another. Then the blonde puts her finger in it and licks it and said,"Nope no-one from this building." !!

Joh McKay 16/12/2002

1- what do you call a blonde with dyed red hair?
**artificial inteligence**

2-why are blondes like twisters?
**while their around their wet and wild but when they leave they they take your car your t.v your house............!!***

LR aka Mech-manic ..choi! 15/12/2002

Hey there. Been reading up on your blonde jokes...you did a good job.

These should be added though:

Q. What would you call a smart blond?
A. A "Golden Retriever"

Q. How do you put the sparkle in a blond's eyes?
A. Flash a flashlight in her ears.

Q. Why do blonds wear shoulder pad?
A. So they don't get hurt when they say "I don't know..." while tilting
their head from side to side.

Q. How do you kill a blond?
A. Put metal spikes in the shoulder pads and ask her a question.

Hope you like 'em!

Bibi 10/12/02

Q: how come blondes cant count to 70
A: because 69 is a mouthful.

7/12/2002

Two blondes were going to DisneyLand and then they saw a sign that said "DisneyLand Left". So they turned around and went home.

2/12/2002

There was a blonde, a bernette, and a red head.They were running from the police. The bernette hid in a barrel. The red hid in a box. The blonde hid in a potato sack. The cop ran over to the barrel to open it, but the bernette screeches,"MEOW! MEOW!" the cop said ,"oh it's just a cat." he ran to the box. the bernette barked like a dog. So the blonde was aparently arrested because her response was,"POTATO! POTATO

30/11/2002

Two Blondes were walking down the street. One spots a
broken mirror on the ground. Picks it up, looks into
it and says, "This girl looks familiar!!!". The other
grabs it and says,"You idiot, it's me!!!".

Jim Chiappardi
Mercerville N.J. 30/11/2002

Why does it take longer to make a blonde snow man than a regular 1?
Cuz u have 2 hallow out the head

Terry 30/11/2002

There was three girls in the dessert thier car broke down. Each of them grabed something and took off walking. the berunett took the water, the red-head took the ice and the blond took the car door. When they were found they asked them why did you take the things you took?T he brunette said I took the water so I could drink it when I get dehydrated. The red-head said I took the ice so I could rub it on my body when it gets hot.then they talked to the blond. She said I took the car door so when it gets hot I can roll down the car window.

Marylou Perez 29/11/2002

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? (A) once on their back they`re screwed.

22/11/2002

An officer is patroling the highway and he ses this car swerving on and off the road so he pulls it over and its a blonde."ma'am why were u swerving?Well I saw this tree on the right so I swerved 2 the left there was1 on the right so I swerved 2 the left.The officer looks in her car and says"Ma'am thats yur air freshner". :)

Cody H 15/11/2002

What do you call a blonde hanging upside down?
............a brunette with bad breath

3/11/2002

What did the dumb blonde say when she spilt her cheerios on the floor?
Doughnut seeds

2/11/2002

Did you hear there is a new blonde paint? It's not very bright, but it spreads real easy.

Craig Mills 25/10/2002

A cop sees a blonde curving in the middle of the road. He pulls her over and asks why r u surving through the road like that? she said cuz there is a bunch of trees in my way. The cop says umm ma'am, that is your air freshener....

24/10/2002

There was a blonde that had never rode a horse before so she put her money in the box and started riding. She eventually started sliding off the side of it and was hitting her head on the ground about to die when the walmart man came and unplugged the horse

There was some men that worked on a building and there was a blonde that brought sandwhiches everyday and a brunette wo brought chicken everyday and a redhead that brought tacos everyday. they all said that if they brought the same thing tomorrow they would jump off of the building so the next day the redhead brought chicken instead of tacos and the brunette brought tacos instead of chicken but the blonde still brought a sandwhich so he jumped off of the building and at his funeral his wife said "if only he would have asked me his lunch" HE MADE HIS OWN LUNCH EVERYDAY!!!!!!!

Lacey H 21/10/2002

Two blondes walk into a toy store. The first blonde yells out "fifty-two days." The cashier at the store asks, "fifty-two days what? what is that supposed to mean." The second blonde turns to the cahier and triumphantly says, "You see this puzzle, we finished it in fifty-two days and the box says two to three years."

16/10/2002

Q: why did the blonde stop using the pill for birth controll?

A: It kept falling out.

Andrea Johnson Vacaville, Ca 13/10/2002

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
101. One to hold the light bulb the other 100 to rotate the house

Greg Bell 4/10/2002

A group of blondes in a class at the University were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess.

An engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the blondes and walks away.

After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed. "Isn't that just like a dumb engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"

Ronbeaux 2/20/2002

A blonde, red head, and burnette all asked there dad a question
the Red heads question was: Dad, why did you name me Lily? Her dad said, when you were born a lily fell on your head so we named you lily.
The Burnette question: Dad, why did you name me Daisy? He said, when you were born a daisy fell on your head so we named you daisy.
The blonde's question: ajfksdhsjkfhsdjkf jhfasjkhfas jsdhfja jk? Her dad said, Shut up Cinderblock!!!!!

Brooke 15/9/2002

There are two blondes traveling down to Florida to Walt Disney World. So they saw a sign and it said Disney World left. So they went back home.

Melodie 12/9/2002

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run because the grenade is in her mouth.

Greg Swanson 4/9/2002

Two blondes decided to go to DisneyWorld. They're driving down the freeway and the see a sign that says: CLEAN RESTROOMS NEXT TWO MILES. So they clean all the restrooms for the next two miles. There almost to DisneyWorld and they see a sign that says DISNEY WORLD LEFT so they turned around and went home.

A blond wants to ride a horse so she gets on and goes for a ride. she starts to slip off. she holds on as tight as she can but she can't hold on anymore. Her head starts hitting the ground. The Wal-mart guy sees her and comes out and unplugs the horse.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They see three potato sacks. All three of them each jump in a potato sacks. The police come up and kick the sack that the redhead was in and she says: MEOW. The cop says: OH JUST A KITTY. He goes to the sack with the brunette in it and she says: WOOF WOOF!. The cop says: OH JUST A PUPPY. He goes to the bag with the blonde in it and kicks it and she says: POTATO!

A blonde and a brunette go for a walk. The brunette says: OH A DEAD BIRD. The blond looks up and says: WHERE?

Jo Wilson 2/9/2002

What does a blonde and a bird have in common?

They both like to peck at worms

Mary Stewart 2/9/2002

Wat did tha blonde say when tha doctor told her she waz pregnant????
is it mine????
lol hahahahaha

Lewis Horan 28/8/2002

Q.How are blondes live vaccum cleaners?
A.They suck, blow and get laid in a closet.

Q.Why wasn't the virgin Mary a blonde?
A.If she was, she'd just be Mary

Claire Williamson 18/8/2002

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar
stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to
the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately
falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to
him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five
things...
1- The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

5/8/2002 Erin E

A blonde is in a shop and decides that she no longer wants to be called bimbo, stupid etc.. so she buys some brown hair dye, a couple of weeks later (hair now brown!) she moves out of stratford to move to leeds, one day she gos into a pawn shop and sees a really nice t.v. so she shouts over to the shopkeeper and says, "hey! how much is this TV" and the shopkeeper replied "your a blonde aren't you?" and thinking how can he know? she says"yep, how did you know that?" and the shopkeeper says "'cause thats a microwave!"

from luke
Studley, Nr Stratford 5/8/2002

HOME

Click Here
ABSOLUTELY FREE
XXX PICS!

This site is for you enjoyment, education and entertainment. #1-Blonde Jokes can be contacted through John Ryan, New Zealand or email John@numberone-blonde-jokes.com© #1- Blonde-Jokes 2001.